success comes from perfection and the Atonement

well this was a great week for me, I really am starting to learn how to enjoy things more, I think I have basically just been trying to love the people more, I remember Elder B when he mentioned how he started enjoying the mission more when he did the same in a district meeting, now that I remember that I think it is really cool the things I am learning are really important to me now, I don't think Ill forget them. when I got here I thought that some of the people here were mocks honestly, I didn't really treat them wrong or anything as far as I could remember but when I got here I could tell how it may be hard to get along with them because we didn't agree on obedience. It happened that way also and I tried to solve the problem by being nice and humble, I think I respected their agency. after a while one said to me that I need to do a lot more than just obey the rules, that you have to help the people and find their needs, and that day in my study the Spirit led me to a scripture about opening your mouth and saying what you feel in your heart and the Spirit will be able to testify of what is said. I then felt like I ought to be more humble, what the person had told me was partly true some of the other things where probably not inspired but the Spirit told me to be humble. That all happened, I have been trying to say what I feel now, what is inspired, I have found more confidence as I unconditionally say things, not thinking of myself but of if it is what the Lord wants me to say because that is what will help them and me in the best form. I really do feel happier inside now, I haven't changed as much as I want to yet but now I understand a lot more. yesterday I did a study and opened up to some stuff in Gospel Principles, the part on obedience and I started reading about the greatest commandments, and the study was really good for me, I felt like it confirmed most of the things I learned in this change, and I figured out that he who keeps the commandments unwillingly and does not do it to serve the Lord will lose the reward. the Lord will command us to do things although we may not know why we can always obey for the right reason. Now since maybe three weeks or so I have decided that there are no mocks, there are people just like me that lack something in a certain area such as understanding and we are children of God with a ton of potential. Those who are successful are not always perfect but their success comes from perfection and the Atonement. one of my favorite examples would be Abraham who was obedient although he loved his son he knew the Lord knew better and he obeyed because he loved the Lord he was blessed to understand better perhaps what kind of love the Lord has for us in sacrificing His son and Abraham´s blessings now are beyond comprehension. as all those who love the Lord Corinthians 2:9 is a good scripture and even better d&c 132:34-37 well anyway I thanked this person, I hope his life goes good, he might not like me a lot but who cares I have learned to be a lot happier and this missionary will probably some day realize the good he did